Before getting into a relationship, you must know what you are signing up for.
My latest boyfriend is so funny and I enjoy the moments we spend together, but he is also a piece of work. He is jumpy, hugely emotional, easily irritated and always wants to be the centre of attention. I’d like for us to have a successful relationship, but it’s proving difficult. Any suggestions?
You have described your boyfriend as someone who might be extroverted whereas you might be introverted. For you to have a successful relationship, you need to understand his world and allow a bit of your world into his.
You might need to communicate your feelings and expectations. Note that as much as your partner might exude emotions and irritability, he might transform as both of you communicate on building your relationship and what you both desire.
Get an activity that both of you will like. This will enhance your bonding and ease how you relate with one another. Lastly, allow him to be himself, an extrovert, and help him learn your introverted traits and how to love you. You will be okay in your relationship as you learn how to treat each other. - Marriage Building Family
Maybe you expect your boyfriend to be perfect, which is not possible. So before you concentrate on his weaknesses, appreciate the happiness he brings to you, then, because you are willing to make your relationship successful, talk with him on the basic details that you know are likely to affect you.
By now you know how best to bring up a conversation with him in a respectful way. If he really values your relationship, then I do not think he will find it hard to adjust some of his behaviours to accommodate you. - Juma Felix
Savour the good times and funny moments you have with this man. Don't attempt to have the man change to fit your set narrative. Don't. If he intends to change then he is bound to pursue it at his own time, space and speed. - Drive Counseling Centre- Nakuru
No one is perfect. All of us have our own weaknesses and strengths. To avoid misunderstanding, learn about each other and how to be compatible. Do not concentrate on the person’s weaknesses but on their strengths.
If not, you will find yourself getting out of this relationship to someplace you may think is better just to find out that the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know! - Rev Geoffrey Avudiko (Senior Pastor, Mitume PAG Church)
From the expert
What you are describing is a character trait of your current boyfriend. Your relationship may be new with elements of fun and thrills but as you progress you will find out, as you already have, that relationships are not full of bliss.
There are things you are going to dislike about each other. You must know what you are signing up for and that is part of dating. Dating someone does not translate into a long-term relationship nor does it guarantee a successful bond. The irritating side of him may never change especially if he is set in his ways.
There are human traits that do not erode over time so it is up to you to ask yourself what you are willing to tolerate and adjust to if the good outweighs the bad.
Two people create and nurture a successful relationship, it does not occur naturally. It is for the two of you to share your likes and dislikes and forge a path that may lead to a fruitful relationship.
Next week's dilemma: For some reason, my dates often end up as friends rather than boyfriends. I usually lose interest in them quickly and then friend zone them. Why does this happen? Why don’t I feel romantic about men who want me? Why can't I get the feeling of being swept off my feet?
