Here’s why men betray the women they built wealth with

Hello, 

I'm starting my life afresh after my husband walked out of our twelve-year marriage and married another woman. He wanted me to stay as his first wife, but I couldn't stomach being in a polygamous marriage.

We built our business from zero, and I gave my everything to see it succeed. Now it's a large enterprise servicing many large clients in the Coastal region.

He started harassing me together with his new wife. I was swindled of all my shares in the company that I helped him build.

I am now in Nairobi with the children, ready to start afresh.  Is there hope of justice for people like me? 

Dear reader

Yes, there is hope, but first, there must be a journey. 

If you have ever watched a cat and a dog get into a fight, you might have noticed that after the squabble, they both stretch and shake themselves. This is meant to release the tension from their bodies. 

You, too, will need to take some steps to process this experience and release it from your system.  But first, let's understand why men betray the very women they built with. 

There are times a man may feel like his wife is too local for his new status, especially after he begins to flourish in his career following years of struggle.

She may not be as sophisticated as the city women he's meeting in business dealings. She doesn't have the modern swag in her dressing, and her style cannot match the sassy girls from uptown. 

But that woman is the one who broke her back to lift him from the ground. She saw his potential and poured her soul into realising it. She simultaneously became his unofficial secretary, chef, cleaner, manager, and assistant.

She denied herself to groom the business. If she had insisted on her rights or lived like these other women, the man's career would never have taken off. It took years of long days and late nights. She kept the family on a tight budget to prioritise the business or the man's career. 

There was a consensus to build first and enjoy later. They were united in sacrifice. She wasn't just building the family business or his talents. She was also building him as a man.  She transformed his dressing style from abysmal standards to a princely look.

Now, the world sees him as a star, and they know nothing about his kingmaker. It's his turn to reach down and uplift his woman to the new platform. She bent for him to step on her back. She risked the prime years of her life to remain behind and push him forward. 

She trusted that he would carry her with him.

But now, he has forgotten all that. He thinks he did all this by himself, and he entertains the dashing damsels of the city. He starts the language of betrayal, talking as if she's not enough for him. He wants to be with other women; she should accept it or leave. 

This woman may leave and be devastated by the loss.

He may continue to prosper financially because the solid and long-lasting foundations the woman helped lay are solid. But this man will have lost the only soulmate he's ever had, and his character will slowly decline.

Peace will elude him. He can never be sure whether women want him for who he is or what he has. From here, he must watch his back day and night.

He can be taken out at any time because of his resources. 

No free ‘love’ anymore. Everything will be billed directly or indirectly, and before long, this transactional love will hurt him to the core.

Good women will avoid him because he betrayed one of their own—his wife. 

He may have money, but he will be alone. Grace will elude him, and the honour that comes from fidelity to one's family will be gone. 

But you will take a different path. You will wrestle with the devastating betrayal, but return with a silent vengeance to succeed in your own way and reverse the hand of fate. 

You have favour with God and people. Whatever you touch will excel. You will have the one thing he doesn't have - inner peace and a clean conscience. You will rise in half the time because you're experienced and networked, compared to the first time.

In the end, that betrayal will fundamentally change both of you. He will become a wounded warrior, a disturbed prince. 

On your part, you will become an awakened empathy. Deeply caring but having self-care and firm boundaries. 

He may come back apologising, and your response will be, 'Apology accepted, access denied.'

You know not to hand him a second bullet after you survive the first.  In short, when you plant loyalty in the wrong soil, do not be surprised when it gets choked by weeds. That's what happened, but it's not the end.

Continue with your new life, and your future will be fulfilling and rewarding.