Why getting married will not automatically make you happy
Married couples also need to be completely open and honest with each other, so you won’t be happy together unless you’re willing to do that.
Getting married is a really good idea, and it is no accident that people have been becoming couples since the dawn of time. But marriage seems more difficult these days, and at odds with modern life.
But it isn’t really. Once you appreciate some simple truths about it. Married couples have to shift their viewpoints from ‘Me’ to ‘We’, yet people seem less willing to merge their whole lives with a partner nowadays, and that causes a lot of marital problems.
Married couples also need to be completely open and honest with each other, so you won’t be happy together unless you’re willing to do that.
In fact, getting married doesn’t automatically make you happy. It makes you married. You’ve moved from the single part of society to the married part. So if you want to go on acting like you’re still single then you’ll be miserable together. Especially drop any friends who try to lead you astray, and start socialising as a couple.
You get out of your marriage what you put into it. So if you want love, give love. If you want to feel understood, be understanding. And put your partner first in your life. No one who’s married should have to fight for their partner’s attention and affection.
You and your spouse are individuals, so accept your inevitable differences and turn them to your advantage. There’s nothing better in life than loving someone for who they really are. And if you work at understanding why you sometimes see situations differently, then you’ll start taking better decisions as a couple than either of you would alone.
You and your partner will develop and change, so stay aware of each other’s changing needs or you’ll drift apart. It’s not your spouse’s job to make you happy. Nobody in this world can make you happy except yourself, it’s something you have to do on your own. So if you’re not happy with yourself, you’re not going to be happy with your spouse either. Work on creating your own happiness first, and then you can share it with your partner.
Learn to be forgiving. That doesn’t mean condoning something that your partner shouldn’t have done. It means understanding why they did it and deciding not to let it ruin your life. You’ll never forget what happened, but you can decide to let go of your hurt feelings, to learn from the incident, and move on together.
Learn to resolve conflicts efficiently, without any blazing rows or shouting matches. Don’t ambush each other, and instead wait until your anger has subsided. Agree when you can sit down to discuss the problem, and calmly work on finding the solution together.
Small gestures of affection go a long way, so do kind things for your partner every chance you get. Appreciate how nice it is to have someone who loves and cares for you. And you’ll realise why successfully married couples are always happier than singles.