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Please, help me get Apostle Elkana out of Mwisho wa Lami school!
I called Apostle Elkana and told him to respect teachers
When I reappointed Apostle Dr Elkana, the Revered Spiritual Superintendent of The Holiest of All Ghosts Tabernacle Assembly, Mwisho wa Lami Sanctuary, as the sponsor of Mwisho wa Lami Comprehensive School, and co-opted him and his choir mistress, Anindo, into the school’s Board of Management, I did so because I knew the positive impact he would have on the school. I may have even underestimated the lengths the good Apostle would go to support us.
He started his duties before schools even reopened for Term Two. He called me on Thursday.
“Are you not having a staff meeting tomorrow?” he asked, referring to Friday, three days before schools would open. He was surprised when I told him that I wasn't having a staff meeting.
“What do you mean? You will wait until schools open to have your first staff meeting? That is a joke!” he exclaimed, and went on, “Serious schools hold their meetings well before school opens, so everyone knows what needs to be done, wait for the children to implement the agreed plans immediately. Now you will be wasting time in meetings when other schools are already learning. You see why you are being beaten by many schools?”
I told him I was not being beaten by many schools and that I was simply respecting the teachers’ vacation. “I want the teachers to rest fully so that when we start the new term, we start with energy-no jokes.”
When I arrived at school on Monday morning for opening day, I found no teacher there, including Nzomo, who was the teacher on duty. She had reluctantly accepted last term to be on duty the first week of term two, after refusing to hold the position in the last week of term one.
“I must warn you, however, that because of the long travel from Nunguni, Ukambani to here, I might be late,” she had said, making it sound like travelling from Nunguni was as daunting as crossing the Atlantic or going to the moon.
I had anticipated that she might be late, or even absent, so I went to supervise the morning school clean-up. Only a few teachers had arrived by parade time, and with them, we addressed the school parade, basically welcoming everyone back to school and reminding them to gear up for the next few weeks.
Apostle Elkana arrived just as we were dismissing the students from the parade. “What time are you having your first staff meeting?” he called out as soon as he walked into my office. I told him that given the quorum available, we could not hold a staff meeting that Monday. “We will do it on Wednesday or Thursday, depending on turnout.”
“I can’t believe that you want to do your first meeting on Thursday. What will teachers be doing before then? How will they know the new term plans?” he asked.
“My teachers are responsible adults who know what to do. I am not worried, they know their expectations very well,” I replied.
“You are joking, Andrea!” he exclaimed. “If your teachers knew what to do, you would not be struggling with quorum - they would all be here today. Now see, you are just here with two teachers.”
"Don't worry, Man of God," I told him. "It is slow in practically all schools."
"Nonsense, Andrea, it is slow only in second-rate schools. It shouldn't be slow," he added. "Anyway, let me engage some of them," he said as he left.
I spent that morning with Lena, her bad hair in tow, drafting the new school timetable. We were so engrossed I did not check my phone until much later on. I had many missed calls from several teachers.
The first one I called back was Mrs. Atika, who had not come to school, having sent me a message the day before to say her son was unwell and she would be taking him to the hospital.
"I thought I explained why I would be absent today already, didn't I?"
"Yes, you did," I answered.
"Then why would you send people to my home to look for me and ask me to go to school? That was unprofessional," she said.
I told her I had not sent anyone to her, as I already knew why she was away.
"So who sent Apostle Elkana to my home?"
I tried to tell her that I had nothing to do with what Apostle had done but she would hear none of that, saying she was aware we had had a meeting with Apostle Elkana that morning.
It was the same story when I called back Sella.
"You need to be respectful of people's private spaces, Dre!" she shouted in my ear as soon as she picked up. "How can you send Apostle Elkana to my home to come fetch me to go to school? Do you know he walked up to the bedroom and tried to wake me up yet I am in that difficult period of the month, and I am in a lot of pain?"
"I am sorry, Sella. I did not send Apostle Elkana; he did it without consulting anyone."
"Go away, Dre, you think we are fools!"
I did not even call the other teachers. I called Apostle Elkana and told him to respect teachers. "Why should I respect teachers who are not respecting school time, Andrea?" he asked me. "I can't believe you are stopping me from assisting you. Anyway, I have stopped going to teachers' homes, but we will meet in school where they must work."
The next day, Apostle Elkana arrived at school shortly after 9 am. Following the complaints I had received from teachers, I called for an emergency staff meeting to start at 9.30 am to discuss the matter plus the plans for the term.
He wanted to join the meeting, but I told him no, reminding him that BOM members were not welcome to staff meetings.
"I am the school sponsor, I must sponsor order and discipline," he retorted.
"By the way, you are not even a board member, according to the records. Anindo is the church representative on the BOM, not you!"
"I know, but I am the one who nominated her – and I am the church," he said.
He did not join the frosty meeting.
"If you are unable to be HM and you want Elkana to be the head, please resign and let him be the head," said Sella.
"Perhaps Elkana should be the head," said Alex, who I hadn't called the day before. "He is more decisive and strong-willed. This school does not need a weakling." He added: “That said, let him know he is lucky he did not find me my house, if he ever walks to my bedroom like he did yesterday, trust me one of us will go to heaven as another one proceeds to jail. Don’t ask me who will go where!”
I promised them that I would handle Elkana.
After the meeting, Elkana was still in the school, seated in the staffroom. He had actually picked one of the desks, where Kuya used to sit, and was seated there reading the Bible.
"Given how bad things are in this school, I have assigned myself this desk so that I can be here every day to monitor events,” he said, making himself comfortable. He has been coming to school every day, and despite us ignoring him, he tries to give teachers and students instructions.
Someone help me get Apostle Elkana out of my school!