How our mums shaped the way we relate with other people

“She, and many women in Songa Village, somewhere in Marsabit, were literally ‘human donkeys’ hanging on hope every single day, what with the insecurity on Songa-Marsabit Town road that has since claimed over 50 lives through bandit attacks! The thought of it sends chills down my whole body. She never stepped into a classroom but fought for the best for us; a reminder that I can achieve anything against all odds. She was my pillar and truly the rock. I can literally hear her say, ‘Go do it. You are blessed.’ She passed on in her sleep. May her soul continue to rest in peace.”

Asked about how his mother influenced his character and how he relates with others, Mr Russo recalled her hands-on nature.

“My mum was a doer. Never waited for someone else. Taught us to [make] do with what we got. I guess that is why I am highly execution-focused and result-oriented. She was strict to the core. She looked out for people. She served food in a pot for me and my friends to eat from the pot, together.

“I guess I am aggressive because I saw and lived what she went through to get me here. Yes, I was sponsored by well-wishers.

However, she worked hard to send me whatever she could, especially when I was in high school and in university. The repeated stories told of her asking the then postmaster at Marsabit Post Office, Mr Edward Chapaley, to personally count the many coins and old notes she [had] and send to me at high school always keeps me grounded. The least I can do is be a ‘hawker of hope,’” says Mr Russo.

Now left with the fond memories of his mother, Mr Russo is challenging all those who have their mums still alive to savour the memories.

“Mothers are the true epitome of resilience. If you are a Mum, please show up. If you have a Mum, please show up for her NOW [emphasis his]. You are the luckiest human being. You never know of tomorrow. Salute to all mothers,” he said.

Githu Muigai - Former Attorney-General

“You need a lawyer,” a young Prof Muigai heard his mother tell his aunt regarding a problem they were discussing.

When they eventually saw a lawyer in Nairobi, Prof Muigai was impressed by the man they met, who was wearing a three-piece suit. He asked his mother what he did, and she told him that he “speaks for people”. That sparked his interest in becoming a lawyer, and his subsequent attendance of court sessions cemented the ambition.

His mother struggled to raise him and his six siblings. Born in 1960, Prof Muigai’s father died when he was barely 10. The good life they had been living screeched to a halt, and now they had to depend on their mother, whose skills were in laundry and tailoring.

“As fate would have it, she had learnt to be a seamstress. And when my father passed on, she got one of those Singer sewing machines, and that is how she raised us in Kiambu town,” said Prof Muigai.

A law professor, Prof Muigai, often jokes that besides being a lawyer, he is also a tailor who can survive in any country because “there will always be a demand for tailors”.

“I grew up there as my mother’s assistant. I perfectly enjoyed being her assistant,” he said. “One of my favourite photos was with my mother on her sewing machine and I sitting right behind her, doing some [needlework], which I can still do today.”

In a 2019 interview with the Business Daily, he described his mother as the “true mother hen”.

“I am convinced that my mother’s energies far superseded what my father could have done,” he said.

Abdulswamad Shariff Nassir - Mombasa Governor

The second governor of Mombasa holds his mother, Nassim, very dear. This goes as far back as the day when a young Abdulswamad would tug at her in the kitchen as she prepared food.

“My fondest memories as a young boy with my mother, Nassim, are of her boundless warmth and quiet strength. I remember sitting beside her in the kitchen as she prepared meals, watching her hands work with such love and care. She had this way of making every child feel like they were the centre of her universe. Whether it was walking me to school, nursing me when I was unwell, or staying up late to help me with my school work, she was the constant, gentle presence shaping my childhood. Her laughter, her prayers, and her hugs were my foundation,” the governor told Nation Lifestyle.

Asked about a philosophy he picked from his mother that he applies to this day, the governor spoke about his leadership style.

“My mother always taught me that leadership is not about titles, but about service. She would say, ‘Mwanangu, don’t seek the spotlight, seek to serve, and the light will follow you.’ That philosophy has stayed with me throughout my life  whether in public service or private life. Her belief in humility, integrity, and compassion continues to guide every decision I make,” said the county boss.

“My mother saw leadership in the smallest acts. She would encourage me to help my siblings, to stand up for the neighbour’s child, to share with those who had less. She made me believe that my voice mattered and that I had a responsibility to lift others. She nurtured the leader in me, not by telling me to be in charge, but by showing me the power of kindness, responsibility, and resilience. To this day, when faced with tough decisions, I often find myself asking: ‘What would mum do?’” 

He regards his mother as his first teacher, his greatest protector, and his most loyal supporter.

“You have given me the best parts of myself — my faith, my strength, and my heart. On this Mother’s Day, I want you to know that everything I am, I owe to you. May Allah continue to bless you with health, joy, and peace. I love you more than words can ever express,” he said when asked to send a message to his mother.

“To all mothers, today we celebrate your sacrifices, your love, and your power. May we honour you not just today, but every day,” he said.

Pascal Tokodi - Actor and musician

The entertainer regards his mother, Nurse Caro, as his first audience. He believes she played a big part in making him a star.

“My relationship with my mum has mixed emotions. It has a point of her motivating me; it has a point of her disciplining me; it has a point of her supporting me,” said Pascal.

“When we were children, she had a woman’s chama. It was like a merry-go-round. So, every time she brought people into the house, I was the form of entertainment. I used to speak with accents, I used to quote movies, I used to sing, I used to do everything for her. So, she was my first ever crowd and manager. I used to be paid in chapatis. It was a good deal back then. I wish I could have asked for money, but the chapati sufficed. She’s been the pillar. She’s been pushing me,” he added.

Even in his adulthood, Pascal noted, his mother is never too far.

“When my daughter was born, she came and stayed with us for a month just for us to ease the [pressure], and she is a blessing. She’s kind; she’s taught me how to be kind, she’s taught me how to negotiate. Eh, my mum knows how to negotiate. So, she’s a beautiful mother and even a more amazing grandmother, and we are happy to have her. All her boys, all her daughters, are lucky to have her. And the husband,” he said.

James Mose - Chief Executive Officer, Kuza Asset Management

“I don’t think I have thanked my mother enough,” Mr Mose said as he reflected on the role his mother played in moulding him.

“She is turning 71 soon. I am 42 years old, and for all the sacrifices she has made and the trouble we took her through, I will actually start with, ‘thank you, Mum’,” he said. “I am grateful she has lived this long to see that I have turned out to be what she hoped. I’d want her to notice that her hard work and nurturing didn’t go to waste.”

Asked about the lesson he picked from his mother that he takes to the boardroom every day, he replied: “My mother is very prayerful and measured. She is not quick to talk and will give others a chance to speak. But when she speaks, you hear the wisdom.”

“The lesson I have learnt from her is active listening. She speaks only after considering everyone’s view, thus her opinion is a contribution of everyone in the room. I am not as effective as her in that regard, but I try,” said Mr Mose.

Morris Maina - Chief Executive Officer, TransUnion Kenya

Mr Maina is a proud father of his three daughters because of the example set by his mother. His father died while he was in high school, and so he lived with his mother as he slowly transformed into a man.

“I observed her in two things. One is empathy. We lived with a lot of workers, so I could see the soft side of her accommodating people. But I also saw a lot of decisiveness because when she didn’t like or had warned you against something, you were assured of punishment. She managed the two traits dexterously,” he said.

When we asked him about what CEO version her mother would be, he said she would be “close to” who he is.

“She was quite visionary and participative. We housed many people, some not immediate family members—and she picked up a lot of input from them, even on some close family issues. Plus, because she was alone for a long time, I noticed foresight in her and long-term thinking. If I were to make her a CEO, she would be a strategic-participative kind of leader,” said Mr Maina.

Then we delved into his leadership traits that he thinks his mother would be most proud of. He thinks empathy tops the list.

“She is the type of person who lifts people, but I also think she thinks I can be more ambitious,” he said. “Not that I am zero in ambition, maybe I could be more aggressive. I think she had that [trait] of aggressiveness that she thinks I should have more of.”

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